Yesterday, I had the heart wrenching job of having my oldest dog put to sleep. He was very ill and it was time but neither reality made it any easier. The reason I am passing on this personal news is to discuss how I handled the situation...with food.
Stuffing my emotions with food (my usual pattern) hasn't worked for the last 45 years so I've been trying to change this behaviour...and I have been moderately successful. But yesterday, it only took a minute for all the bad habits to come back. Last night, I devoured an entire package (minus 5) of double stuffed Oreos. Luckily, I threw the remaining 5 out once I started really feeling ill because I was looking for them this morning. Today, I had ice cream for breakfast and a handful of butter cookies for lunch (my husband is out of town so technically, I don't have to cook if I don't want to).
Well, now that all this damage is done, I will climb back on the proverbial horse and start relearning better habits again. Just remember, it takes a while (3 months, I think) to learn a habit but it only takes a minute to demolish it.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Habits
Today, I was excited because I lost 1.8 pounds. After the last few weeks where I see-sawed with my weight, I knew I had to get more serious than I was (which, truthfully, wouldn't take much). So....I buckled down...I recorded what I ate in my food diary, I packed healthy breakfasts and lunches, I watched snacking, drank no wine last week, ate healthy dinners, and (finally) ate dessert (I love dessert!!!) but in small portions. I did this almost all week, falling gently off the wagon later in the week but all in all doing a very successful reining in of my overindulging habits.
BUT, then I had to find out what my citation fee was for the accident from 1/4/11. Ooooooohhhhh, what a mistake...I wasn't prepared....$231.00 dollars???!!! Are you kidding me???!!! OOOKAY...Get out of the way...GIVE me that piece of cake...Chomp, Chomp Chomp......
My, my, my...how easily those bad habits come roaring back!! Well, thank goodness I have a whole week ahead of me to get it all back under control.
BUT, then I had to find out what my citation fee was for the accident from 1/4/11. Ooooooohhhhh, what a mistake...I wasn't prepared....$231.00 dollars???!!! Are you kidding me???!!! OOOKAY...Get out of the way...GIVE me that piece of cake...Chomp, Chomp Chomp......
My, my, my...how easily those bad habits come roaring back!! Well, thank goodness I have a whole week ahead of me to get it all back under control.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Temptations!
Sundays are my weigh day. And this Sunday I put back on the weight I lost last Sunday!
I could blame it on being stuck at home all last week...I could blame it on lack of exercise...I could blame it on not keeping my food journal....(all of which are very true)...but I think I'll blame it on temptation. While stuck at home, instead of exercising, moving my food journal off the counter (because it was in the spot I wanted to put the mixer), I baked temptations...and then I ate those temptations.
Thank goodness, today, in Sam's, I looked lovingly at the box of glazed lemon filled Krispy Kreme donuts...and then moved on....with no donuts in my cart.
Take that temptation!
I could blame it on being stuck at home all last week...I could blame it on lack of exercise...I could blame it on not keeping my food journal....(all of which are very true)...but I think I'll blame it on temptation. While stuck at home, instead of exercising, moving my food journal off the counter (because it was in the spot I wanted to put the mixer), I baked temptations...and then I ate those temptations.
Thank goodness, today, in Sam's, I looked lovingly at the box of glazed lemon filled Krispy Kreme donuts...and then moved on....with no donuts in my cart.
Take that temptation!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Puttering is good for the Soul
I have a tendency to lament "I never seem to have any time!" Well, I'm finishing up Day 3 of being snowbound at home. Do you think I did anything on my long list of "I never seem to have any time" chores? Of course not! However, I did hike around a lot in the snow (I really love to hear my boots breaking the ice as I then sink down into the snow. It taps into the little kid in me...kind of like stomping in a rain puddle). I did putter around the house in long johns, t-shirt and my sock monkey slippers. I did cook a wonderful pot of P.S. Soup. I did keep my hands from mindless snacking. All in all, a good day.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Big Freeze
Okay, here it is, Day 2 of the 1st BIG FREEZE for 2011. It is the...2nd day I have been unable to get out of my driveway...2nd day I have been unable to get to work...2nd day I have been unable to destress by giving my dogs a good walk.
My one dog loves the snow. He could run in it forever it seems. It's not only good exercise for me, it is a pleasure to watch his pure joy in running around in the white stuff. This time, though, ice formed very quickly on top of the snow and he was having none of it. He reminded me a lot of Bambi when Bambi hit the ice and all legs went askew. Potty breaks now consist of stepping off the porch and back in.
Well, stuck inside, trying not to eat everything in sight (with a million things I can constructively be doing but not wanting to do any of them), I decided I could take no more. At 8:00 a.m. this morning, I took the dogs out for their potty time, brought them back in and went back out with my husband's stopwatch (I wanted to know how long I hiked around). I hiked all over our two and half acres. I followed deer tracks, I followed coyote tracks, I followed my own tracks. Up the hill, down the hill. Each step, I crunched through ice and at least 4" snow.
When done (12 min and 41 sec later), I felt better for having done something, having moved around, having stopped the creeping crazies. I then had a cup of coffee and began, again, to try to keep myself busy until the next time I just had to get out of the house. At least at this point, I'm not mindlessly eating.
My one dog loves the snow. He could run in it forever it seems. It's not only good exercise for me, it is a pleasure to watch his pure joy in running around in the white stuff. This time, though, ice formed very quickly on top of the snow and he was having none of it. He reminded me a lot of Bambi when Bambi hit the ice and all legs went askew. Potty breaks now consist of stepping off the porch and back in.
Well, stuck inside, trying not to eat everything in sight (with a million things I can constructively be doing but not wanting to do any of them), I decided I could take no more. At 8:00 a.m. this morning, I took the dogs out for their potty time, brought them back in and went back out with my husband's stopwatch (I wanted to know how long I hiked around). I hiked all over our two and half acres. I followed deer tracks, I followed coyote tracks, I followed my own tracks. Up the hill, down the hill. Each step, I crunched through ice and at least 4" snow.
When done (12 min and 41 sec later), I felt better for having done something, having moved around, having stopped the creeping crazies. I then had a cup of coffee and began, again, to try to keep myself busy until the next time I just had to get out of the house. At least at this point, I'm not mindlessly eating.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Adversity
Okay, so on my way home from work today, I was involved in a fender bender. Not just involved but cited for the accident (following too closely). It was a chain reaction...I hit the young man in front of me and he in turn hit the car in front of him. Nobody hurt (Thank God) but now on top of a very frustrating day at work, I have this. OOOOOKAY...now how am I going to handle this?
Now I truly believe that God puts events/people/"stuff" in your life for reasons so what was he showing me now, because I knew this was not a random lesson.......
Let's see...by the time I got home, I had decided that I was not going to gorge my way through this unfortunate event. The most damage (and there really was no damaging eating) was a pre-packaged Nabisco 100 Calorie Mister Salty Yogurt Pretzels and a glass of white wine. Thankfully, dinner was already in the crock pot and I only needed to cook some noodles and fix a salad. While waiting, I kept my hands busy on the computer, putting up laundry, taking care of animals, doing dishes, etc.
I am a reactionary eater. I eat to handle stress, fear, pain, joy, happiness, etc. but this time I conscientiously made the decision to handle things differently. This was huge for me..."Look at me, I can handle stressful situations in positive proactive ways!"
On a side note, the father of the young man I hit happens to be a contractor and I was able to give his mother my electrician husband's business card. In fact, the young man's mother was enthusiastic in taking the card. Then, in further conversation, I found out the other driver involved is a Weight Watcher leader and handed me her insurance info on a wonderful WW soup recipe printout. We three women then had a decent discussion on weight loss.
Life is good (although I'm still going to have a good cry) and since I don't believe in coincidences, I am amazed how God worked this whole thing out.
Now I truly believe that God puts events/people/"stuff" in your life for reasons so what was he showing me now, because I knew this was not a random lesson.......
Let's see...by the time I got home, I had decided that I was not going to gorge my way through this unfortunate event. The most damage (and there really was no damaging eating) was a pre-packaged Nabisco 100 Calorie Mister Salty Yogurt Pretzels and a glass of white wine. Thankfully, dinner was already in the crock pot and I only needed to cook some noodles and fix a salad. While waiting, I kept my hands busy on the computer, putting up laundry, taking care of animals, doing dishes, etc.
I am a reactionary eater. I eat to handle stress, fear, pain, joy, happiness, etc. but this time I conscientiously made the decision to handle things differently. This was huge for me..."Look at me, I can handle stressful situations in positive proactive ways!"
On a side note, the father of the young man I hit happens to be a contractor and I was able to give his mother my electrician husband's business card. In fact, the young man's mother was enthusiastic in taking the card. Then, in further conversation, I found out the other driver involved is a Weight Watcher leader and handed me her insurance info on a wonderful WW soup recipe printout. We three women then had a decent discussion on weight loss.
Life is good (although I'm still going to have a good cry) and since I don't believe in coincidences, I am amazed how God worked this whole thing out.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Tools
I have a tendency to really, really over think things to the point that nothing gets done. I don't mean to but I am a procrastinator and I guess this is one of the ways I have of procrastinating.
Today, I almost went down that road again. Today, I purchased a "few" personal tools to help me with my weight loss:
Yes, things are different this time.
Today, I almost went down that road again. Today, I purchased a "few" personal tools to help me with my weight loss:
- A composition notebook for recording foods and feelings
- A three ring binder and paper to list tips and tools, recipes, and exercise information
- A 16-pack of colored Sharpies (a wonderful buy at $4.99 plus I love markers and lots of color)
- A small calendar for the bathroom to write my weight on and to provide morning inspiration
- A perpetual calendar for the refrigerator so I can make notes to myself regarding food, positive tidbits, and other stuff (to be determined as I think of it)
- Oh, and a pack of multicolor index cards with a nifty purple index card holder for exactly what, I don't know but I'm thinking of how I can use them (I've also enlisted the help of one sister to help with discovering what to do with these).
Yes, things are different this time.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The cat mentality
I have a cat named Johnny (pronounced Joanie - another story for another day) who has a tummy time clock. When it's time to eat, IT'S TIME TO EAT and he is very vociferous about this. If I'm not up by 7 a.m., he is in my face meowing. He doesn't start with gentle purrs or face pats and then progress to "shouting", he just starts meowing loudly for all the world to hear. And I get up and feed him, every time.
I guess my reason for telling this story is that this is how I feel in the mornings, especially mornings I don't have to be anywhere, no schedule to keep. I wake up shouting (not literally of course) to eat and snacking ensues because I don't feel like fixing a proper breakfast.
I'm guessing this is something I need to work on. In fact, today is Saturday (no schedule for me), January 1st, 2011 (the first day of a new year) and Johnny has been fed...so what better time to go take care of me.
This, I think, will be my first resolution of the new year!
I guess my reason for telling this story is that this is how I feel in the mornings, especially mornings I don't have to be anywhere, no schedule to keep. I wake up shouting (not literally of course) to eat and snacking ensues because I don't feel like fixing a proper breakfast.
I'm guessing this is something I need to work on. In fact, today is Saturday (no schedule for me), January 1st, 2011 (the first day of a new year) and Johnny has been fed...so what better time to go take care of me.
This, I think, will be my first resolution of the new year!
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